Seven years ago today my father died…and 4 weeks after that my wife left me.
A close friend killed himself shortly after that as his wife had left him and shortly after that my godfather/uncle sadly passed away, followed by an auntie shortly after that.
I don’t think I’d got out of May at that point in 2011…It was all rather gloomy.
My circle of friends got smaller as you only really know who your true friends are when you have a run of bad luck or if your life gets a bit too ‘messy’ to bother with…so it was quite a lonely time too and it has left a little bit of darkness in my head that will never fully fade…but it shrinks a little more as each year passes…
I don’t think I have learned an awful lot or changed much in myself in the last seven years, so this isn’t a ‘just look at me now’ post; quite the opposite; there is no success story here and I continue to still be a complete nob from time to time who has things blow up in his stupid face with alarming regularity.
But whilst in a rather reflective mood today I did realise that every single thing that kicked so hard in the first half of 2011 came as a complete surprise (shock?) to me…and I know it is because I was too busy and wrapped up back then in trying to be ‘successful’!
So I guess what I want to share, for no real reason at all, is my retrospectively fitted new year resolutions for 2010 (yes, EIGHT years ago instead of seven)…
- Cherish phonecalls & time with my parents (even if I have heard those stories over a hundred times)
- Listen to my partner
- Be available for friends
- Visit relatives when I’m in the area
Doing those four things in 2010 wouldn’t have changed anything that happened in 2011…but I’d have had less regrets in the years thereafter…so maybe there is some advice there?
In the wise words of Bill & Ted…Be excellent to each other.
Photo by Elijah Hiett on Unsplash